January 2012
2 posts
6 tags
Haven't been on in a LONG time
I looked through my old posts about my boyfriend and I,
When we first started to date I was so scared, scared he was just using me As we dated longer I posted about our highlights; first falling for each other, first saying I love you, first time we made love.
It’s amazing, for the past four months I’ve been writing letters to him. Letters about the days we’ve spent...
November 2011
5 posts
8 tags
you left me shaking
we were at for what felt like hours
hard, and fast
when we both finished, we went a second time
I tried my hardest to be silent, it didn’t work
You’re dad probably heard everything, don’t care
After the second time we both collapsed, I had no strength in my body
You lifted my arm to put around you so we could be close.
Rough sex is intense
Since when
since when was I losing weight not on my own?
since when was I scared by that?
11 tags
2 tags
My Bed isn't the Same
This bed is no longer a bed
It’s the place we made love
The place we had rough sex
The spot we slept together, if I would roll away in the night you would find me in your sleep and hold me close again
I can no longer lay in my bed the same
This weekend was amazing, being so close to you I wait for the day we can wake up everyday next to each other
October 2011
4 posts
14 tags
4 tags
October 15, 2011
I had sex
My biggest fear was conquered
Everything I was scared of, everything I thought I would never want happened
Weirdest thing: I’m okay with it I have no regrets
I love my boyfriend I love that we waited And I love that I trust him
1 tag
been super busy with school, work, and boyfriend
been eating like shit
it’s all going to my hips and sides
11 tags
September 2011
12 posts
I love when...
you start making friends in college class
you start to think: “WOW maybe I’m not that socially awkward”
Someone even invites you to a party, a week later that same person IMs you on facebook. They start showing you music and you’re like “aight, coo, cool, I got this” and you send him a link, BUT no matter what you send them it’s not good.
It...
3 tags
looking-for-the-stars asked: What's going on with you and your bf??? If you wanna give a whole long story thats good or a short reply too :P
5 tags
I haven't been this sad in a while
all day long I’ve been missing my boyfriend staring at the flowers he brought me yesterday, thinking about how I want to be with him
I’ve been feeling lazy and shitty all week and he was there to cheer me up
But tonight…I asked him questions about the future and he got deeper in thought and we basically discussed how we won’t be in each other’s future because while...
I keep thinking about it...
sex
do I want it? am I ready?
Will anything change?
grrrr
5 tags
1 tag
I'm in love with Aerie
Full day of classes
on campus from 9 to 4:30 today
ate 580 calories on campus and breakfast
came home and ate a bit much…but I think it’ll even out
:)
wanna reach 157 again
over the last two weeks of summer I got stressed and gained 7 pounds….
yikes!
i remember being skinny...
5 tags
Only reason to be happy about school starting:
more moving, more things to do, less eating
6 tags
August 2011
13 posts
He had cancer
my close friend had cancer and told few people
He has trouble trusting people, he grew up in an abusive home after his mother abandoned him at the age of 6. He had been to the hospital a few times from the abuse as a child, yet continued to live with the drunkard father.
A month ago he was “missing” no texts, no calls, not even a facebook status.
I found out it was because he had...
when it rains a beach house, it sucks
nothing to do, just tumble and eat
grrr
and we have funny bones tempting me
waaaannnttt
7 tags
1 tag
wanting to take a nap
laying in the last room at my beach house
laying here reminds me of him, but he’s back in Jersey
waiting out the rest of the week here at the beach house
can’t swim; water’s contaminated
just want to cuddle
6 tags
Roof of a Parking Garage
A popular spot for my boyfriend and I, usually we go there to star gaze, or just sit and talk in his truck
Tonight as we stared at the moon in the bed of his truck one thing led to another,
a 69 outside,
We weren’t caught, and he finished this time
but after, when we both finished and were cuddling he whispered:
“I have a secret. I wanted you tonight”
and then he held me...
runningtothefinish asked: Hmmmmm has he said anything about it? Or does he just brush it off?
I'm assuming you guys are completely in love and he's attracted to you :)
I'm assuming you guys are completely in love and he's attracted to you :)
Erectile Dysfunction?
I didn’t see my boyfriend for 8 days
I was in pain because I missed him so much, I finally saw him last night.
Of course we got to fooling around. I went down on him and within minutes he went limp; mood killer much?
this has been the second or third time it has happened
he’s 19, is this normal? natural?
what’s going on?
I fear that if we want to go further we won’t...
7 tags
2 tags
So I've been clean for a year and 4 months
it’s weird to sit in my beach house where I used to count my calories, or sit alone because I didn’t want to go to the beach looking fat that day and be comfortable with myself.
I have gained a little bit of weight, my thighs are touching a little bit and my stomach sticks out a bit (I’m probably 158 but idk scale doesn’t work here)
And for the first time ever I’m...
6 tags
I've been missing...
summer classes, and work
a great summer right? not so much I’ve missed my blog.
UPDATE: Spending this week at my beach house in Queens (Breezy Point)
Eating pretty good, swimsuit confidence, not the body but the confidence is just as good
:)
10 tags
July 2011
20 posts
Don't want to live today
stupid fights
too many things to do
just want to eat cereal and die
6 tags
Boyfriend and I are starting to work out together
:)
7 tags
1 tag
Leaving for Mass in 7 and a half hours
so excited.
I’ll be with him for a weekend, just me and him
BONUS: when I’m with him I don’t eat as much, and all the “activities” we do burn a lot of calories
DOUBLE BONUS: he likes loves my body no matter what
17 tags
I'm obviously meant to be fat...
even when I have plans to eat only a shot glass dessert at Applebees my stomach betrays me.
I’m back to square one, better start writing my desired weight on my wrist….again
9 tags
10 tags
1 tag
That annoying moment when you weigh 7 pounds...
no control
I want him so bad
a few days ago my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his room
as I was straddled on top of him he took off his boxers and rubbed his dick against me. Immediately it scared me and I moved myself farther up, away from it but he looked me in the eyes and said: “don’t worry I won’t put it in” I trust him and I relaxed more
he switched from rubbing his dick back and forth...
I want him so bad
a few days ago my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his room
as I was straddled on top of him he took off his boxers and rubbed his dick against me. Immediately it scared me and I moved myself farther up, away from it but he looked me in the eyes and said: “don’t worry I won’t put it in” I trust him and I relaxed more
he switched from rubbing his dick back and forth...
2 tags
1 tag
Reason I'm afraid to go on the trip with my...
we’ll share a hotel room
….
I can’t just not poop for a weekend